Dear Senator Rubio,
I understand that traditionally
marriage has been between a man and a woman, but same-sex relationships have
existed for thousands of years and in multiple species. Why an individual is
homosexual has not been firmly established. A solely genetic pathway seems
unlikely, as homosexual activity is a dead end, evolutionarily speaking. Other
arguments refer to hormonal fluctuations in utero. Whatever the cause, I firmly
believe it is biologic in its origin. Being homosexual is not a choice. Acting
on your feelings is. I tried for many years to date women and was engaged to be
married. I cancelled the engagement, not for my benefit, but for my fiancés
benefit. It was not fair to involve her in a relationship where she could never
experience all that she deserved. I am not talking about being unfaithful. I am
referring to her inability to receive the love and attention she deserved. So
after that break-up, my only choice was to live a life of isolation and
loneliness or find someone whose love could be shared and allow me to
concentrate on my career and contributing to the health and well-being of
others.
I believe there are many
intolerant gay people, just as there are many intolerant Republicans, but how does
anyone’s ability to marry affect the success of anyone else’s marriage. This
seems to be the argument – same-sex marriage is a threat to the institution of
marriage. How? I don’t see how my parent’s marriage affected my brother’s or
yours, for that matter. Since man has created art and writing, homosexual
relationships have been documented from Ancient Greece, to South American
tribes, from the South Pacific Islanders to Siberian and Southeast Asian and
North American Shamans. Some cultures have found a niche for homosexuals from
Greek Warriors to Spiritual Guides. Western culture has found niches for gay
people, as well. In the 20th Century, Gays were florists, artists,
interior designers, film-makers and involved in other creative activities
fueling the economy. Now, 38 years after I came out, we are lawyers, doctors,
fireman, policeman, active military and anything else we wish to achieve. Gay
marriage was inevitable in such an environment of acceptance.
The idea of a Gay Culture is only
about 35 years old. Prior to that, homosexuals went underground and were isolated
them from general society. The “Gay Pride” movement proposed that being
homosexual was not a choice, but acting on your desires was okay. I struggled
for ten years as a child and a teenager to try to understand what I was. When I
was a kid I never knew there was another person who felt the way I did and was
scared beyond belief. This constant stress took an enormous toll on my school
work all the way through my Bachelor’s Degree. After I “Came Out” and met other
people like me, my self-esteem was restored and I returned to school as a
straight A post-baccalaureate student and eventually became Associate Director
of Perioperative Services and Trauma Services at Jackson Memorial Hospital,
where I frequently worked long hours and instituted new and higher standards of
practice that were eventually adopted nationwide.
The reason I’m telling you this
story is that I am afraid, as a gay Republican, that the party shows little
tolerance and is perceived as an enemy of gay people. Gay marriage is now the
law of the land. Although I don’t entirely agree with the Supreme Court
decision forcing the various States to perform gay marriages, I don’t think it
had any choice but to say that gay marriages performed in one state of the
Union had to be recognized in all the others. But, whether you support it or
not, it is the law.
What I am concerned with is this
wave of fear regarding religious liberties. It seems to be an over-blown
reaction to a non-existent problem. I think there is general agreement in the
gay community that no religious institution can be forced to bless a gay union
and most of us would not want our marriages catered or photographed by someone
who didn’t want to do it. (However, there probably wouldn’t be too many
catering companies or florists without gay people, anyway!) There will be
plenty of other entrepreneurs ready to take the millions of dollars that will
flow into the economy as a result of couples with plenty of disposable income.
Many Gay people are as religious as any other Americans. Due to the suffering
they have experienced, many gay people have a unique understanding of
compassion and the wisdom that that suffering brings.
There are, also, good economic reasons
to support and codify same-sex relationships. When two people commit to each
other, legally and spiritually, they work harder to maintain that relationship.
Maintaining any relationship goes way beyond what happens in private. In
committing to share your life with someone else, you are also committing to
establishing fiscal responsibility and financial security, monogamy, and an
expectation of love through good times and bad. This is good for the nation
because it decreases the costs incurred by the state to support an isolated,
lonely, aged and sick individual with no other support system. It decreases the
number of relationships one is likely to have which decreases the chance of the
spread of disease and, when in a committed relationship, each party watches out
for the other and, if allowed to adopt, create a true family with all the
support systems available to straight people. This also makes fiscal sense.
There have been a number of
studies that have shown that children of same-sex actually do better in school
and are socially more adept. (U.S. National
Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study: Psychological Adjustment of 17-Year-Old
Adolescents” 2010 study from the University of California-San Francisco, the
University of California-Los Angeles and the University of Amsterdam published
in Pediatrics.; “Parent-Child Interaction Styles Between Gay and Lesbian
Parents and Their Adopted Children” 2007 study from Florida State University
published in the Journal of GLBT Family Studies; et al.) In establishing a
family, same-sex couples have the same opportunity to build the support for
their parents in old age, reducing the burden on the state, once again.
Children, who may otherwise not be adopted, may be given the chance to have
loving parents. Gay people are more likely to adopt older children or children
of any race or creed and even special needs children. From my experience,
because adoption is a serious decision, many gay parents are completely devoted
to the well-being of their children. They chose to take on the responsibility
understanding all that entails and they undergo thorough screening to ensure
they can fulfill these responsibilities.
Additionally,
same-sex relationships that involve a partner from another country are afforded
the same opportunities as opposite-sex couples, providing for a legal path to
citizenship and the security of knowing that you will not lose your opportunity
to happiness due to deportation and politics. As the process is in place, this
also saves both the state and the individuals considerable expense.
Societies
for countless generations have found or created niches for homosexual
individuals. I never thought I would see this pace of acceptance in my
lifetime, but here we are. Perhaps, for religious reasons, you may not support
gay marriage, but there are many churches and spiritual institutions that do
and the majority of society supports gay marriage. It is beneficial to the
State as it promotes fiscal responsibility and lowers health care costs.
I
have contributed to your campaign because I believe that you will support conservative
values of a free market, strong military, and minimal government intrusion into
my right to happiness as long as it does not infringe on another’s right to
happiness. I believe that you will uphold the constitution, unlike our current
President. I want to work to convince others that you are the right person at
the right time and I urge you to be thoughtful and mindful of the impression
you make on the Gay Community. It is a strong voting block with considerable
disposable income to support the candidate of their choice. On the issue of gay
marriage, it is settled law and I have
not yet heard any argument about how one couple’s marriage affects the
stability of another’s. I’m not sure I even understand the religious arguments.
If one is Christian, than one believes in a merciful God who created all of us.
Why would he even create gay people as a target of persecution? I can assure
you that most of us would not choose such a difficult path if we didn’t have
to. There may be a few young people who experiment or act out in a rebellious
nature, but as one matures, if it was a choice, I’d certainly have chosen an
easier path and the opportunity to create my own family. We are what we are and even in societies that
try to eliminate us in a literal sense, there are still people who under the
worst conditions possible, such as the Islamic Republic of Iran, are still gay.
I am
blessed to live in the United States of America. We are truly an exceptional
nation and the more equality grows, the stronger the Union. Gay people have it
good here for the most part. I was beat up by the police when I was in my 20’s
and denied entrance into Medical School in the early “80’s, but the times have
changed rapidly. Compare that to “Gay Hanging Day” in Tehran every Wednesday. I
have found what my community and employers expect of me is social
responsibility and hard work with no regard to my sexual orientation.
If
the Republican Party continues to appear as an enemy to Gay People whether true
or not, the Party will suffer. Many independents lean left on social issues.
There are many Gay people who are fiscally conservative, support the military
and don’t support government by executive fiat.
I
think it is a blessing that the Supreme Court has taken the argument of the
legality of same-sex marriage off the table. Please don’t squander the
opportunity. And, personally, I would ask you to do some self-introspection.
What scares you about same-sex marriage? We don’t want to hurt anyone, The vast
majority of us are just trying to get by in a terrible economy, worried
about our future and even the future of
our democracy as it is attacked from the Left and foreign threats to the
Homeland. Don’t let the Left define you. The aggressive rhetoric coming from
some of your contenders is horrible and perpetuates the idea that Republicans
are out of touch and intolerant. If you truly want to be the President of the
Future and not repeat the failures of the past, then demonstrate tolerance and
inclusion for if elected, you will be the President of all Americans of all
races, creeds, religions, sexual-orientation and any other category you can
imagine. If elected, you will have huge challenges and priorities. I know that
you know that the Left and the liberal media will try to trap you into saying
something that perpetuates Republicans as the enemies of minorities of all
stripes. I also realize that what is
necessary to win the primary is different than the general election, but
remember, there are gay Republicans who will vote in the primary and whose
votes and dollars are just as important as any other Republican.
All I
ask is that you stay true to being the Leader of the Future and the future
tells us that tolerance will only grow in the electorate. Widen the base. Bring
us in just as you hope to bring back the Latino and Black vote. If not, the GOP
will just be perceived as the party of nasty, old, white men and will create
the conditions for its own extinction.
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